Cold As You (cerpen Bahasa Inggris)

            The color of sky has changed. Gray, same as the color of the room where I was. Silent, only the sound of the falling rain in slow motion that I can heard. In the outdoors, birds in flight. Dancing with the raindrops that fell soaked earth. This afternoon, right with the bell of school, it was raining again. Forced me to recall the memories of droplets that hit the walls of the past. I remember, one morning in November last year. Beautiful morning when it rains weep the nature. Beautiful morning when a simple smile can makes me valuable. Beautiful morning when the butterflies are already tired to dancing, began dancing again in my chest. Loveliest morning has changed all the feelings that I had. The morning were able to show hi, the most beautiful hidden and never did I find to be the most I’m looking for. Beautiful morning before today and will never again.

            I’m waiting for the rain to stop. Together with my best friend who become my place to tell all of my story and feelings. I took a deep breath and sat down on the table near the door. I can clearly looked at the class, including Farhan. Farhan right in front of my eyes, sitting on a third bench. Stared out the window with upset face. Upset because the rain never tread end. Upset because he wanted to feel the warmth of home.

            “Al, throw!” he pleaded. I throw a yellow round object near me towards it. “thank you.” He added. He smiled at me. Same as with a year ago. Sweet but fells strange.

            “did you fall in love again, Al?” Gia asked suddenly jerked me in my thoughts. “I think you know the answer, Gi” I said.

            “How can, Al? he’s a cold man that I ever seen, individualistic, and almost heartless. What do you see of him, Al?” Gia wondering.

            “there’s something different when he look at me, Gi. Falling in love is the most undemocratic thing. We can’t choose to whom our heart will be docked.” I replied dryly. Now, Gia is on silent and now the room turned into a crowded room atmosphere. Some male friends playing ball on the back of the class while waiting for the rain to stop.

***

            I’m waiting the rain to stop. While listening to the songs of Taylor Swift- You belong with me and hey Stephen. Both of song is what my heart feels. Farhan are cold, insensitive, and don’t want ever to know what is happening around him. Farhan, if you could see that I’m the one who understand you been here all along, so why can’t you see? You belong with me. My love for you will never end until the rest of my life, although you never know and don’t care what the feeling I had for you.

            I’m waiting the rain to stop. An hour has passed, Farhan still playing ball. His body was bathed in sweat. I liked when Farhan like this. Sweat rolling down his body as give him beautiful value. Classical. But I really liked it. I fall in love again, Ahan.

            “ok, let’s stop, guys. I’m tired!” Farhan said and lying on the floor. He tired of playing football up bathed in sweat like that.

            “Gi, tissue” Farhan approached me and Gia. “Al, Farhan ask for tissue” Gia said. I froze. Farhan look at me. I want him to pull out the magic words that can make my life stopped. But…….it was only just a dream. That’s impossible. He wouldn’t put out the magic words as he spoke at Gia. The prestige he had are already exceeded reasonable limits.

            “why silent? Why you’re awkward? You, guys, were friends, right? The friend wasn’t ever in mutual silence. Oh, I know. There must be something, yes, Han?” Gia asked.

            “ What something, Gi? Alisa and I just a friend! Never was anything between us.” Farhan answered.

            Ah, Farhan if time can be stopped. You say my name. I’m really Fall to you. The way you talk and you say my name it’s beautiful, wonderful, don’t you ever changed? But….you’re evil! Just a friend? It hurts! I want to be your girl.

            “Christian Bautista said, cause there’s something in the way you look at her.” Gia said.

            “Gi!” I said. Gia Froze.

            “There isn’t something different in the way I look at her. I’m different to a woman around me because two reasons. Alias not the reasons that I love her. I was different, because I just want she not to bring her feels to deep. Because I’m never love her.” Farhan said. He went along with increasing heavy raindrops.

            Han, it hurts.

***

            Han, I’m really sick because of you. You don’t like what I’m imagined. You’re evil! Heartless boy ever that I ever known.

You have a way of coming easily to me. And when you take, you take the very best of me. So I start a fight cause I need to feel something. And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted. Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending give to a perfect day. Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say. And now that I'm sitting here thinking it thinking it through. I've never been anywhere, cold as you…..

            You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray. And I stood there loving you and wished them all away. And you come away with a great little story, of  a mess of a dreamer, with the nerve to adore you.

            You never did give a damn thing, honey, but I cried, cried for you. And I know you wouldn’t have told nobody if I died, died for you. Died for you……

            And know that I’m sitting here thinking it through. I’ve never been anywhere, cold as you……